Yes, it’s time for Part Two of the popular 100 thing list from last week. (100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do). It’s been fun to listen to comments all week as every diner has his individual list of pet peeves. It makes you wonder if there is such an event as a perfect meal. Maybe it’s peanut butter and jelly when you’re feeling sick or hot tea with honey and lemon when your throat is aching. Everyone has his go-to foods for those times, but when we dine out we want it all perfect. If it is a 12-course prix fixe extravaganza, the tastes should be bigger than morsels but not full courses. If we’re looking for a quick meal, then quick it needs to be. We want the expectation fulfilled.
As for Part Two, once again, each could lead to a mini commentary. Here are a few goodies:
–Do not let guests double-order unintentionally. This is a biggie in my book as so many new bistros include frites with their entrees and also sell them as an expensive side. No one needs two orders of those wonderfully rich potatoes. Tell us. Stop us.
–Do not bring soup without a spoon. This would be comical if it didn’t happen so often, but then again where would old-time comedy routines be without the guest saying to the waiter, “Try it, try the soup,” and then the AHA moment! No, you try it…
–Do not stop your excellent service after the check is presented or paid. So many servers seem to disappear after the presentation. It’s as if they’re shouting “you’ve already made up your mind so nothing will increase my tip.” Actually, how about if you come and take my credit card. Hunting you down is unpleasant.
That’s just three fun ones to comment on, but here are three more from my personal list to ponder:
–Tell me if my order is going to be a peppercorned experience. Pepper is not a seasoning that should overtake a dish, but it easily can. It can also ruin the taste for someone who dislikes pepper and needs to send the dish back into the kitchen for a redo with just the ingredients that were mentioned such as capers and lemon. They’re fine; they’re the taste I wanted. Tell me the tuna loin is rolled in pepper. Did I mention I hate pepper! Just tell me.
–If you are serving some special local dish, you need to be able to describe it. “We are famous for it” does not work. What is it? How is it prepared? Does it taste like chicken?
–If I leave the table and have placed my napkin at the side, do not touch it and refold it. In this mass hysteria germophobic universe, I want to avoid your germs. That napkin has pursed my lips or it will soon. Leave it. Let it lie or give me a new one. How about an addenda: Make it a black napkin, please, as dark clothing hates those white napkins. I don’t care what material they are.
Everyone has a list. Dining out can be, and mostly is, a fun, list-free experience.
Leave the pens at home.
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